Mindfulness has been trending for years. In 2018, The Courage to Be Disliked became a best seller. By Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, this book presents what can be perceived as a “smart mindset” with basic lessons each reader can choose to learn over time. Based on the teachings of the famous psychotherapist Alfred Adler, the lessons take place in the form of conversations between a young man and a philosopher.

Here are a few lessons from the book:
1. Happiness is a choice, not a result of external factors. We can find happiness within ourselves by taking responsibility for our own lives and decisions.

2. Understanding what our tasks are is crucial. We need to clearly separate our tasks from those that belong to others. Focus on our own tasks and avoid interfering in others. This is how we can decrease stress and conflict.

3. Adlerian psychology suggests that all problems are rooted in interpersonal relationships. Improving the quality of our relationships with others significantly enhances our mindset and mental well-being.

4. Self-acceptance leads to true self-esteem and confidence. Accept the flaws along with the strengths.

5. Rejecting comparisons with others will help us overcome any inferiority complex. Feelings of inferiority can drive us to strive for superiority, creating unhealthy behaviors that impact our relationships. This aligns closely with the self-acceptance mentioned above.

6. Live fully in the present moment. Don’t hold onto the past or worry about the future. A present mindset increases mindfulness and reduces anxiety.

7. Be brave enough to be disliked by others. Be true to yourself and make decisions based on our values, not based on receiving approval from others.

8. Setting clear cut goals can help us take positive action. Recognizing our goals can help us understand and create beneficial habits.

9. Contributing to society and feeling connected to others provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

10. Take responsibility. Acknowledge that our current circumstances are the result of our own choices and actions. We can always change and become who we want to be.

The Courage to Be Disliked is really about self-acceptance. As long as we are true to ourselves, we can like ourselves and continue evolving to become better. The lessons align closely to the Nikken Humans Being More philosophy as well as the Five Pillars of Wellness.