Many of us were taught from an early age to be of service—parents teach children to help with tasks around the home, to walk the dog, babysit the younger ones, and so on. There might be an allowance earned, and in those cases, the child learns to receive a token for services rendered.

Each individual reacts differently to the many forms of giving and receiving. Young children have to be taught to give as receiving comes naturally to them when they are at the stage of being dependent for just about everything. As they grow older, the tables turn and they typically are reinforced with the importance of giving in the forms of helping, serving or gifting.

Giving is upheld as positive behavior, part of altruism and generosity; however, authentic giving does not expect anything in return. It comes from a place of abundance and joy, of having more than enough to share. Receiving takes a back seat and this may result in the learned behavior of too much giving. When there is a feeling of debt, the imbalance of not receiving enough occurs. That is why it is equally important to learn to receive with grace, gratitude and true acceptance—that is, to receive without guilt and the feeling of having to repay the giver.

One way to rectify an imbalance between giving and receiving is the concept of paying it forward. You can’t always reciprocate equally with someone who is able to give you more than you have, but there is bound to be a time when you can be the giver to someone who has less. You are simply contributing to the cycle of kindness and the spirit of sharing.

There is another aspect of gracious receiving that is often overlooked. Not being able to receive robs the giver of the pleasure you yourself receive when you are the one doing the giving! And, it makes the giver feel misunderstood and unappreciated. Gracious receiving is a way of allowing others to show how much they care and to experience your own self-worth.

Just as “it takes two to tango,” it takes two to give and receive. Creating a balance between the two requires conscious intention, but it’s well worth effort. If you don’t feel joyful when giving, it’s a sign you’re depleted and imbalanced. You can consciously give yourself self-care to replenish your own tank and do some receiving, which can take the form of asking and accepting help!

Think of giving and receiving in this way: it can be as simple as words of encouragement, such as “I know you can do it.” “I believe in you.” “Let me give you a hand with that.” The recipient graciously accepts with “thank you!” We can make balanced giving and receiving a part of our total wellness lifestyle!

‘Tis the season of gifting, and if you want to present the ones you care about with gifts inspired by nature, Nikken invites you to take a look at the 2023 Gift Guide. The special offers extend through the end of the year.