Cultural differences account for the many ways in how people show gratitude. Professor Jonathan Tudge of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro is considered an expert on the subject. He and his colleagues have published a series of studies showing how children develop a sense of gratitude in seven culturally diverse countries.

The children were aged seven to 14 and answered in three categories of gratitude: verbal  which is spoken, concrete which offers a token gift, and connective which is relational. Children in China and South Korean tended to favor connective gratitude. Those in the U.S. leaned toward concrete gratitude, and Guatemalan kids were partial to verbal gratitude.¹ According to Professor Tudge, connective gratitude which cultivates the development of a relationship, goes beyond words or gifts of thanks. He calls it the most authentic form of gratitude.

Cultural values, parenting practices and education may each play a role. Autonomous (individualist) cultures such as that of North America, teach children to be more independent and self-directed. Heteronomous (collectivist) cultures such as that of Asia teach duty and obedience to elders as well as honoring others. This could account for why Americans tend toward verbal and concrete gratitude while Asians focus on connectivity and developing relationships rather than valuing individuality and separateness. Giving and receiving help is an expected part of daily life for members of collectivist cultures rather than an uplifting surprise for those from individualist cultures.²

Who you choose to show gratitude to also may depend on cultural influences. For example, Southeast Indians were more likely to show appreciation to people outside of their families—the type of people they might feel obligated to repay. This sense of indebtedness is found much less in autonomous cultures. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Inuit do not require an expression of gratitude after receiving meat from a hunt.

According to Professor Tudge, gratitude is ultimately a skill that strengthens relationships and arises when we pay more attention to the gifts our connections bring us. He says that means thinking about gratitude less like a good feeling to boost happiness and more like paying it forward with kindness, making it a way of life and being a good human being.³

During this season of Thanksgiving, consider who you want to connect with more deeply. And if you want to show concrete gratitude, Nikken invites you to take a look at the 2023 Gift Guide with special offers that extend through the end of the year.

1,2, 3 https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_cultural_differences_shape_your_gratitude